staring directly into the sun compilation (TRY NOT TO CRY) / mizuki &. jouji

You'd really think that being in a flower shop would be soothing, gripped with thoughts of buying a sentimental gift for a partner, or a friend, or something — which is probably why Jouji is struggling so much, hands clasped tightly into one another, biting the inside of their mouth as suggestions are being made to them by somebody who they're sure is getting increasingly nervous the more time the angelic spends in their store, seeming unsatisfied despite what they're being offered.

Part of them wants things to be perfect, because of course they just have to make everything harder for themself, but that part is very slowly dwindling away, whittled down by frustration (mostly for being unable to describe exactly what they're looking for, only providing descriptions like 'white flower' or 'black flower'). Yet, here they are, amongst a frankly overwhelming amount of colours and smells and shapes and whatnot, rubbing the back of their gloved hand rather forcefully to let off steam.

Their eyes move when the door opens, but they don't turn to look at whichever poor customer has just arrived.. Oh. Oh, no, they're going to have to hurry up and pick something, aren't they?

Their chest tightens, attention redirected to where it should be. "N.. No, that's not what I'm looking for..." Another stilted statement, caused by the fact they're trying to breathe as little as possible for fear of having a nervous breakdown in the middle of the store. Which, mind you, would now be witnessed by at least two people, both of which wouldn't be very happy about it. They close their eyes, desperately trying to keep a straight face while they calm themself down.

This is stupid, they're getting so caught-up on flowers, they don't even care that much. It's not like the families are coming back, anyway, and if they do, they can buy their own damn flowers. Who knows, maybe they'll even drag along some poor fairy to go and unwither them. See if I care, Jouji thinks, looking down at their feet.

"J-...just...anything will do. I'm sorry." It takes them biting their tongue not to add a pathetic little 'please' at the end, not yet willing to lose their last sliver of pride.

"Oh-" Jouji tries to shrink, to make room for the stranger without bumping into anything, gaze on her as they hold their breath for a moment. Their first thought is that this person is tall. Taller than them. They're not sure how they feel about this fact, but it does make them wish they could shrink a little more. Their second thought is that they are dressed far too nicely to have been carrying all those flowers here. They're not in any position to be judging that, though.

They don't say anything in response, just nod (which looks a bit more like a shudder) a few seconds too late, eyes flickering back to the shopkeeper out of morbid curiousity. They see their relief, their rushed speech, and it's all expected, known, noted. The angelic's poker-face doesn't let either of the two know that this sort of.. Hurts to watch. They take a deep breath, looking back at the kinder red-head, surprised to find a book in their line of sight. They quickly look away again, guilt setting in immediately.

Their chest is tight, but their mouth is too dry to ask if they can just leave, instead standing stiff as a board between the counter and...whoever this is, a person who is probably only being so nice to them because they noticed the shopkeeper's nervousness. Defeated, they decide to take what they can get. Surviving through this ordeal is enough at this point.

".. Th-... Thank you?" They take a breath, finally, going back to rubbing their thumb over the back of their hand, much softer this time. "I'm sorry for bothering you, it-" they spare a glance at the flowers left behind- "it looks like you were busy.." ...Jouji's third thought is how this nicely dressed individual managed to carry all of that on their own. Did somebody leave while they weren't looking..?