Weirdos in the woods (Sumiko and Eiji)

Sumiko likes this area. She likes the woods, more importantly. She doesn’t like the heroes that pass through, finds them self-absorbed and ungrateful, but she likes the woods more than she dislikes the heroes.
However… today she has discovered a very strange person. Very strange indeed. A merchant in a clearing, selling all manner of potions to all manner of heroes. Their cart looks appealing though, as does that shimmery fabric that adorns it. Things that shimmer are nice, but they are also flashy. This intrigues Sumiko.
She steps into the clearing, standing two heroes in line and patiently waiting her turn. When it’s her turn to buy, she gives the merchant a soft smile and says, “hello, what kind of person are you?”

Another sale, another coin to the pile, another customer, another smile. It's routine. It's...boring, most of the time.

O, merchant! I am in need of your finest strength potion, 'fore I brave my quest!

Oh, good! You need the muscle mass ^_^. That sword is going to knock you over in one swing.

Merchant... fetch me the potion that shall make the lady from four towns over fall for me the moment she lays eyes upon me.

Mm, I don't think I have a potion strong enough for a miracle like that! But, for a price, I'll...try!

What kind of person are you?

O-

Wait. That one was different. That one is happening right now. Eiji turns to look at the new customer with a tilt of his head, setting down a bottle he was arbitrarily polishing to appear busier than they clearly were. This person is the last in the line, and that's the longest it's been all day.

What kind of person are you... What kind of question is that?

They chuckle to themself, leaning to perch their elbows on the counter of their cart, chin resting in their hands.

"I'm a merchant, simple as."

I'm a merchant, and that kind of question is a time-waster.

"You ask me for a potion or a spell or whatever it is you adventurers want from little old me thiiis time, I give it to you, you pay me, you walk away."

Their arms fall to cross over each other on the counter, hunching over just a bit with a thoughtful expression.

"And, since we're making small talk instead of transactions, what about you? What kind of person aaaareee-" they lift a hand to poke the other in the forehead, "you?"

And why did you stand in line just to ask a weird question?

The strange girl's smile does not falter. If anything, it seems to get a bit wider!

"Hmm... hm hm hm..." she hums, bringing a thoughtful finger to the corner of her mouth.

"Well, I'm not an adventurer, for one thing. I'm an actor, as we are all actors. I asked you first in order to gauge what sort of person I should me, however... let me see if I can draw a conclusion based on everyone I have met as of this moment."

Her finger taps at her mouth. "You seem uncaring. Bored, perhaps. Pretending to be playful just to find some joy, maybe? That one might be a tad out there. But that's beside the point. My question may have been misphrased, but what I was asking for wasn't your personality, but you."

She leans in a little closer, smile placid and almost eerie.

"Are you a good person, or a bad person?"

Uncaring, yes. Bored, absolutely. Pretending to be playful just to find... Dude. So they're dealing with one of these types... Eiji's smile becomes sickeningly sweet to balance out the eerie nature of the stranger's and he rises to full height in the cart.

"Mm, cute act you've got going on there. Funny you expect an answer, though." The tone follows the style of smile, contrasting his words. "I have much more important things to tend toooo! Especially since... you're not a customer, or an adventurer, or whatever."

They waggle their finger in the air in an 'ah-ah-ah!' motion.

"Now that's~ just a time waster. You try to poke at some suuurface or some-thing-like-that-" his finger moves with the words, "and expect me to play along? So you can play dress-up therapist?"

Eiji swiftly turns their back, 'busying' themself with the 'potion' in the 'cauldron'. ...No, it's actually a cauldron. Carried away.

"I'll say, you are the most interesting thing to happen today, but that doesn't mean I'll bite."

They turn around with a playful wink.

"Better luck with the next guy, okay? ...You'll need it! If that's really your approach. Toodles~"

The strange stranger tilts her head in confusion. “Therapist…? I’m not certain where you’re pulling that from. It’s of no concern to me whether or not you have problems, nor whether they get better.” She rests her hands on the cart and stands on her tiptoes to try to look past Eiji at the potion they’re brewing.

“However, your response has given me everything I need to know!” she says, cheerfully. “You refuse to answer a simple question, and instead turn to being rude. My best estimations say that makes you a bad guy.

There’s a moment of silence, where Eiji probably assumes she’s thinking of some way to insult or berate them for being a ‘bad guy’ or whatever the hell she’s on about, but when that moment of silence ends, there’s a lot of giggling and excitedly jumping up and down from the strange girl.

“Ah, how wonderful! It’s so rare I meet someone who doesn’t immediately tell me they’re good.” She stops bouncing and smooths out her dress. “Now that that’s settled, fine merchant, may I peruse your wares?”

What she wants to say is that the potion Eiji is brewing smells funny. Almost like expired chicken stock. But that’s not a nice thing to say, so she won’t!

A bad guy? Hm? Wha?

Eiji makes the mistake of freezing for even half a second. Every hesitation is a weakness. An opportunity for the ones who live to pretend, to put on a show, to tilt the stage to sink their teeth in and get comfortable. Though, they have to concede, the unorthodox approach certainly has piqued their interest; they bite.

Hook, line, sinker -- regrettably.

"A bad guy, hmm... I suppose, yes, I do have an unsavoury reputation. None quite so offputting as- no, that one's a cruel rumour to spread. Hardly true in the first place. I have my limits~"

That is the only reason they don't badmouth a certain someone... Ahem. Ignoring that.

"Though, you're the first bold enough to say it to my face! Not everyone's gutsy enough. I guess you do have a redeeming traaaiit! So happy for you, good for youuu~!" It's said with a purposely strained tone and a smile that barely covers a sarcastic expression, though it all fades into a 'normal', smooth, happy expression shortly after. They lean their elbows on the counter, crossing their arms over each other and tilting their head to the side.

"And why is the ambassador to the colour pink so keen on my status as a bad guy? ...Let alone thrilled to deem me one?"

Oh! She's a customer after all...

"As for my wares... I'll happily allow you to crack a look, onnnn~ One! Condition!" They reach out to pat Sumiko condescendingly on the head, eyes closing for a expression. "You have to tell me what exactly it is you seek to achieve first. I can't just let you pick willy nilly, now, can I? Exact ailments, don't spare the details. And, before you ask, unfortunately no, I don't carry anything that'll fix that head of yours... I'm a potion seller, not a therapist."

Sumiko seems to... outright ignore Eiji as she peruses the potions, leaning over to view them at eye level with a rapt fascination.

Her eyes flicker up to them when they pat her head, however, and she smiles. If Eiji didn't know any better, which they don't, they'd probably think it was just a touch condescending. "Your insults are quite petty, dear merchant villain. I've heard much worse, you'll have to be more creative than that if you actually wish to do harm with your dull-knife words."

She stands partway up, leaning forward with her hands resting on the cart so that she's eye level with Eiji (I assume they're sitting down). "I will answer your questions, though." She still seems very polite, that cheerful smile never wavering. "My interest in your moral alignment is because it dictates my behavior. There must be balance in every scene, you see, and if you were not a villain, then I would have to be one. Your reputation intrigues me, I admit, if it is as bad as you say."

She brings her pointer finger up to her mouth in thought. "As for what I'm looking for... hm." The answer she had prepared was not the one that would fit the situation she ended up in. She has no earthly idea what a hero would want. "What would you recommend for a hero?" she asks.